Thursday 22 August 2013

#6 Is the Parental 'status' more important than your Child's Upbringing?


I sit down to a candlelit table; joyous memories decorate the room.  The cutlery glistens under the candlelight; sweet smells from the kitchen drift throughout the house while Bjork’s ballads make a statement in the foreground.  The TV mutely flashes idealistic images like an emergency beacon – as if we care.  My best friend and his mother Claire elegantly step around each other in a slow dance; it seems overly rehearsed I mentally note.   The room secretly screams compassion and love, sentiments of bliss seem innocently reflected in the lavish furniture.  Aroha is not just an aura; it’s adorned in the room.  Ash notices my insecure observations and tells me                                                   
          “My life is awesome huh. This is how mum and I live”.  

I nod in astonishment, oh how content Ash and his mother appear to be.  Does he sense my jealousy?  I can see the fond bond of affection that they both share; a single mother and her only son.  Love and compassion equals’ happiness – some sort of mathematical cliché.    What a child needs.    Something like that sounds about right.  We sit down to dinner as a news bulletin alerts my attention to the screen.

“New research shows children with gay parents are happier”






At that moment; as the statement is read, Ash and I both freeze, slowly turning towards each other in embarrassment, our bro-mantic eye contact exchanging a thousand words.  His mother grins; 
                                  “that will be you two boys one day…”

It’s in this moment of awkwardness I begin to think about the modern day issue of parenting and the ways that children are raised in a variety of modern ‘parenting situations’.  Does someone’s relationship status really have any relation to how well they can parent children I wonder?  A parenting configuration should not even make a difference to a child’s happiness - provided they have the essential nourishments of course.  A variety of my mates parental relationships come to mind; split relationship parenting, solo parenting, same-sex parenting and of course ‘normal’ heterosexual parenting.  Different family make-ups; yet we all share one thing in common – a prosperous childhood.  Our parent’s personal relationship status has not had any evident negative implications on our adolescence. 

University of Melbourne research shows that a child from a same-sex parenting relationship does not have any significant differences from a child of a single or heterosexual parental relationship.  The six-o’clock publicity stunt headline is excessively exaggerating the fact that children from same sex couples have slightly higher national measures of general health and family unity which was discovered in the Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families.  I zone out and take a bite of my meal; it doesn’t matter.  Children should ideally be the priority of any family, not the caregiver’s personal relationship status.                                                                                   Sifting smoke soaks my senses; smells divine, I must eat some more… 

Children today are being raised in a variety of family situations and with the recent legalisation of same-sex parenting here in Aotearoa; I wonder if they really are the better parents as the latest captions claim?  Do children even matter? Or are we just fighting for more same-sex parenting publicity.  Everyone is seemingly doing it; Ricky Martin, Elton John to Urzila Carlson and many more.

 ‘Gay parenting’ appears to be the new Calvin Klein for our pink dollar.   It would seem that many same-sex couples are chasing the latest fashion trend to have children.  Unless there is a genuine desire to have a family.  I’m starting to see myself criticise this news headline the more I begin to contemplate what it is actually telling me.  “Gay parents equals happier children;’ yeah right!  It’s missing the key point of parenting entirely.  The values a child learns and the joy they experience overrides their parents relationship ‘status’ completely. 


I’m sub-consciously swirling in my dinner - or is it my mind digesting the ‘regularity’ of my own family; mother, father and I, the middle child of three.  A wholesome balance of male and female influences, some would commend this as the ‘supreme upbringing’.  Should I dispute this proclaimed healthiness – probably not, I had childhood opportunities like any other kid - having spent hours upon hours with mum; baking a bond; equalised with a fathers farming lessons.    My well-being, happiness and foundational ethics have been influenced by the secure and loving relationship that I have with both my mother and father.  Not their personal heterosexual relationship.

It would be assumed that I were at advantage; having had ‘normal parents’ – an equal female and male influence in my immediate childhood.  A historic stereotype - children need both a male and female in their life… - makes me question if the relationship status of parents really even matters to a child and their upbringing.  It doesn’t.  All parents regardless of their relationship have the ‘potential ability’ to love and raise their children successfully.


  Child abuse headlines involving parents scatter the internet; the case of Nia Glassie, a Gay Couple that abused an adopted Russian ‘son’, and a Mother that denies murdering a toddler…  The list could go on; but I best stop there before I immerse the dinner table in blue emotions.   These unfortunate ‘parenting’ incidents have all occurred in various parenting structures and reinforce the fact that parental configurations are not important when raising children as any kid can potentially be ‘harmed’ physically or  psychologically under the care of any child minder.  Parents of any gender or relationship rank should be considered equal when raising kids as children are the result of the encouraging or undesirable atmosphere that is provided.                                                                                                                   

The question still prods at me like my fork in my fettuccine; is a parents ‘spouse status’ more important than their children and can their status affect the kids?  In my quest for answers I come across the Family and Marriage Journal.  Backing up my assumptions it says that genderism roles have little relation to a child’s psychological or social success.  There goes a lost dream – we would ‘technically’ be the same person; even if we rewound time to be raised with different parental figures.    In fact my readings informed me that there are more similarities than differences among kids from lesbian, single and heterosexual parents.  Lesbian parents tend to ‘spend more time playing’ with their children and single parents had ‘stronger bonds’ with their children whom were likely to have ‘better responsibility roles’.   Heterosexual couples were more likely to influence children within the ‘normal gender roles’ and same-sex couples were ‘less likely to raise children with chauvinistic (homophobic) attitudes’.  This is proof that our parents’ gender or relationship cannot affect our mental or physical wellbeing which is outweighed by the quality characteristics of parenting instead.

The achievements of a child’s initial life are the results of how our parents support us from the beginning.  Often being determined and influenced by our parent’s religion, culture or own adolescent experiences.   And no parenting configuration is necessarily better than the other as there is a multitude of methods and techniques to nurture a child’s entire welfare.  Claire is a great example of a mother who has embraced every moment with her son to educate and foster him to the likeable guy that that I see sat beside me.   I’m so lucky to have a friend like him.  Dependable, funny, admirable and optimistic – we share an unbreakable bond.  I can clearly see Claire’s ethical beliefs and values installed in Ash like genius computer software.  Her single relationship status has not deprived her ability to love and comfort Ash unconditionally; educating him with values and life skills to become his own greatest asset.  A minor being raised in an environment of respectable ethics and morals is much more important that the status of her parental relationship.                                                       

All this transcendent thinking hinders within my physical presence at the dinner table,              “To much chilli for you?” Claire Jokes                                                                                                    ‘Snap;’ back to reality. Had they noticed my psychic absence? Ash shrugs his shoulders; looking at me in awe.                                                                                                                           "Sorry" I sheepishly say.  “Its’ just - Do you really think ‘gay’ parents actually have ‘happier’ children?”  I’m treading water now; I can feel it in Ash’s burning gaze, but he still maintains that trusted grin.   I love him.  My best mate.  It doesn't seem right, but I know it is; one of the happiest guys I know and contradictory to the ‘breaking news’ he was brought up by a single mother.

Yep.  Rounding of my mealtime deliberation I am left to critique the importance of parental relationships over that of a child’s upbringing.  Two for one or one of each – the double up or mix ‘n match of genders in a parenting structure does not impede kids overall happiness or fulfilment!  Children never came with an instruction guide so there is no reason for parents to be restricted to certain parental configurations.  

There is no supreme parental relationship but all parents have the obligation to invest love and care to raise a happy healthy confident child.  Face it, infants really don’t care what your relationship is, all they care about if being, fed clothed and nourished with provisions – mostly of physical nature.  The status of the child minder does not affect the child, but the quality of life and secure family bonding environment that you enable them to have does!

I take another look around the room, candlelit, sweet smells, love is not just an aura; it’s adorned everywhere…   I think someone’s talking to me “my mum’s status is single; this is how we live - happily”…

-         Ash clicks his fingers in my direction and repeats himself. “Now who’s for a margarita?”

Wednesday 21 August 2013

# 5 Lucky You


Right;  it's time to get some order up in here. Seeing as this is my fifth Blog and well let's face it;  I'm beginning to have a greater knack of loving language and putting words like this into a structural sentence for your eyes to feast.  So as I were saying time to get some numerical order here, Lucky Blog Number #5 to start the running order  seeing as my birthday is the 5th of the 10th month (yes ironic!) - This blog is dedicated to that memory - besides the point - and you for influences and shaping the person behind the keyboard - let's make it to number eighteen for the big eighteenth - no promises!  - Here's to your fifth Blog of simplicity!  So Cheers to that and you for being here with me on this joyous occasion of Twenty-Thirteen.

- Hunter

Monday 12 August 2013

Word Thought


Words paint a graphic picture, But I as the artist, Only portray bias aspects of oneself. You are not my mind or my soul of feelings. You are no closer to knowing or understanding or even near comprehending what or whom I am and the multitude of ideas and thinking that encompasses me . Unless you are me ... Unless...

Friday 15 February 2013

New Life, New City



Moving from a rural area to the fifth biggest city in New Zealand has been an immense positive change.  The Bay Of Plenty is such a relaxed fast paced modern city and I have experienced the warmest of welcomes from the weather and locals.


    Summer fest was a superb example of Bay of Plenty’s finest and many local talents came to entertain the crowds throughout the day, not to mention I AM GIANT, J WILLIAMS and TITANIUM who finished the evening off beautifully.  A great array of activities and shopping were available, one of my personal favorites was a great new fashion label ‘One Offs’ and as the name implies all clothing is individual and unique, no-one else has anything that is the same.  A kooky and stylish collect of tie-die garments and some funky ‘towel shorts’ were limited.          Make sure you refurbish your beach wardrobe here-


The leisurely aspect within Tauranga and Mount Maunganui is constant.  I've found myself enjoying the many walking and riding tracks for my periodic work outs, who wouldn't enjoying a run around the bay as the sun sets in the horizon, pure bliss.  A day in the supple sand and gleaming sun cannot be turned down, then to finish the day of a cool refreshing dip in the sea’s torment.  A sense of balance between work, play and study is defiantly observed here and I find myself slotting into this perfectly.

A month has shot past like a flash, study, assignments, social gatherings, life experiences, concerts and memories have passed and continue to come, an array of excitement and adrenaline is still left to explore within my new beginnings. 

Till next time >>

Thursday 29 November 2012

Call Me By Your Name - Book Review



I initially purchased this book as a gift; but after reading the first page I could not bring myself to part with this exceptional novel.  It is certainly a book that should be on your book shelve or e-reader!   
                                                                                                                                                  
An Italian Costal Villa sets the scene for an uncertain relationship that blooms between a young lad and a summer houseguest – an introduction that compels you to keep reading.  Endless pages of comprehensive description allow you to feel and envisage a fond attraction between Elio and the guest who has ‘skin as smooth as the underside of a lizard’s belly’.  Aciman writes with a great personal touch, all emotions are described meticulously; it’s like reading your own affectionate feelings on paper.  Before the mystery lover departs for the states the pair elope on a trip to Rome.  In a strange city they become inseparable sharing each other’s possessions’ and enjoying book parties and cocktail drinks together – sounds like a spectacular getaway.                                   
                                                                                                                  
This first-person flashback story shares the initial fears that come with same-sex attraction and social acceptance.  Clever allusions to the way that humans manipulate and flirt give us the opportunity to see beyond our sceptical actions.  I absolutely love how Aciman has subtly incorporated rather obscene raunchy aspects to this novel which adds a great amount of flavour to parts to this heavy going book.                                                                                     Layers of metaphors and imagery make me wonder what it would feel like if you called me by your name?
  Andre Aciman has stirred emotions that I never knew existed, a definite must read for all the romance lovers!

Tuesday 27 November 2012

HIV Takes Over


    HIV; aka the Human Immunodeficiency Virus is a sexually transmitted virus which affects around 2000 Kiwis.   Outlined below is my original publication (2011) ; of the virus and how it works and attacks the human body.  Remember World Aids day, December first, this Saturday!


      The Human Immunodeficiency Virus is a very serious retrovirus that infects several types of cells within the human body (main cells that HIV infects are the T, CD4 and lymphocyte cells).  This virus possibly came from chimpanzees many years ago and now has developed to impede the individuals that have acquired the virus.  It can also lead to AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) and death by destroying the bodies’ immunity system.  HIV has a simplistic life cycle as it only reproduces viral copies of itself.  There are several inhibitor drugs which can disrupt the reproduction process and this is the one main way to stop HIV spreading and destroying the human immunity system.  However people have a major influence in spreading the HIV virus and this is increased and decreased depending on ethnicity, culture education and lifestyle influences.

     The human immunodeficiency viruses have a very simple life cycle as it does not respire, feed or excrete and only reproduce.  The virus attaches itself to a human’s white blood cell, (usually being T, CD4 or lymphocyte cells; which are within our white blood cells immunity system).  The virus recognises these particular cells by a specific protein called gp120 which is on our white blood cells’ surface.  This receptor is attractive as this is the particular part that the HIV virus interacts with.  The virus attaches itself to the host CD4 cell, once attached to the cell it then has to penetrate its RNA genetic information into the particular cell that it is attempting to invade.  Firstly it has to break through the cells outer coat.  Then the genetic RNA material from the HIV virus is inserted into the cell it wants to reprogram so more virus copies can be produced.  The RNA genetic material is on one single chain and has to be converted into a DNA type which is on two chains.  This process of converting RNA information to DNA on two strands is called reverse transcription.  After the reverse transcription process the HIV virus has injected its genetic information into the CD4 cell and this cell has now been reprogrammed not for defending infection but instead producing more genetic copies of HIV using mitosis reproduction.  The HIV virus has overtaken the immunity cell and usually stays dormant for several years before it reproduces more viral copies of itself.  Whilst inert; the body does not usually show any visible signs or reactions that the HIV is present.  The only definite diagnosis of being HIV positive is through blood screening or HIV testing.  When the virus receives a signal to become active again it then replicates itself and makes more viruses while within the host cell.  This replication process only occurs when an HIV enzyme called protease enables the virus to copy itself.   Before the new copied viruses are let out of the host cell and into the blood stream to attack more vulnerable immunity defence cells it must first coat itself with a protein sheath.  This protein sheath around the copied virus protects and capacitates the HIV genetic material.  The copied HIV viruses are now complete and ready to push out of our CD4 cell and into the blood stream to find more white blood cells to attack and destroy.  The virus is released into the human body and leaves behind the immunity cell that it has just eradicated.  The new copied viruses move on to attack other defenceless cells using the same method of attachment, penetration, reverse transcription and then replication.  This life cycle keeps repeating and can eventually lead to aids where the bodies’ immunity system is killed and can consequent in death. 

      The structure of the HIV retrovirus is very basic, it is made up of a protective layer and within this protective shell there is the HIV’s RNA which is all the genetic material for the virus.  RNA is similar to human DNA but it is on one short strand and carries less than twenty genes in the nucleus.  This is why it has to attach itself to a white blood cell as it does not carry enough of its own information for reproduction.  On the outer layer of virus there are receptors and antigens and these parts recognise and attach onto the CD4 cell like a jigsaw puzzle.

    There are several factors that influence and affect the spreading of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus.  It is mainly spread through the transferring of bodily fluids within the blood system.  Unsafe sexual practises or activities and needle contamination are the main ways it can be spread from one person to another.   It can be spread through sexual interactions and the exchanging of blood and other bodily fluids from cuts and sores on the body or within the mouth.  Tear duct fluids and sexual activities where cuts on the body are revealed can increase the chances of the HIV virus being transmitted.  The mixing of different body fluids between people is extremely risky especially if the virus is present in someone or on needles.   HIV can be transmitted through a variety of bodily fluids such as genital and blood secretions within the blood and even in breast milk and this is a way that young children can get HIV.    The spread through unsterile needles for injections, piercings or recreational drug usage is one of the major methods that the virus is transmitted.  It is consumer choice to insure that the equipment they use for piercing, injections and recreational drugs are sterile to minimise the spread of the retrovirus.  However the decision in which people make is the most important contributing factor.  People who choose not to practise safe sex or do not discuss this option with their sexual partners are increasing their personal risk of obtaining the virus.    Punter choices and actions are the major way HIV can be spread, the decisions people make may result in them attaining HIV.                                                                                                                                        

     The communities in which people live can also impact HIV and its spread, developing countries often have a higher rate of spreading HIV as education and medical facilities are very poor.  People living in poverty do not have safe sex methods and many people are unaware that there are any.  In Africa where there is little education and healthy sex clinics HIV is spread rapidly as people do not practise safe-sex or sterilise piercing and injecting equipment.  Diseases and infections with low immunity systems can also be picked up and this is what can kill people that live in poverty or unhygienic places.  The HIV virus kills their immunity to infections and in turn when they get a simple cold this can even kill them.  Available treatments and drug inhibitors cannot be purchased as people do not have the revenue and the country does not have the economic society to fund drugs for their people.  New Zealand is very lucky comparatively as everyone has access to HIV testing and support from http://www.nzaf.org.nz/                                                                   

    Openly discussing the Human Immunodeficiency Virus   can help the understanding and make people more aware of the consequences of it.  By conversing the subject people become aware and educated in ways they can decrease the rate that it is spread.  As HIV was an unknown subject in the 1980’s thousands of people did not practise safe methods of injecting or sexual activities and in consequence thousands of people attained the immunity destroying retrovirus.   Talking about HIV today has educated people and the viruses is not spread in vast numbers as it was in the eighties, however it still is of concern and people that may have got the virus should be tested and also discuss the subject.

      There are many ways to decrease the spreading of HIV and also several treatments and drugs which can increase individuals CD4 cell counts.  A persons CD4 count is like the level of immunity that people have within their white blood cells.   A CD4 count between 500-1500 is a sufficient immunity level; but between levels 250-500 demonstrate some damage to the immunity system.  However there is low risk of transmission or development of opportunistic infections or disease.  A CD4 cell count less than 250 is extremely concerning as a person’s immunity system is low and damaged; they need to increase their CD4 count before they are diagnosed with aids or possibly pass away.                                                                                                             

    At each stage of the HIV reproduction stage there are several inhibitor drugs which can interrupt the reproduction stage.  There are different groups of drugs which can prevent the life cycle of HIV at the different developing stages which were outlined above.  The drugs that can interfere with each stage of the reproduction are: fusion inhibitors, these dugs disrupt the attachment process and stop the HIV attaching and penetrating into the white blood cell.  The fusion inhibitors cover the antigen on the HIV and as such tricks the HIV.  It stops recognition of the T, CD4 or lymphocyte cell and is like putting a cap on a pen.  Reverse transcriptase inhibitors interrupt the reverse transcription process and prevent the HIV’s RNA genetic information transferring itself into HIV DNA strands.  Protease inhibitors, integrase inhibitors and entry inhibitors are just some of the inhibitor drugs which interfere with the HIV reproduction stage.  Under these categories there are several types of drugs which work in similar ways to stop each virus process.  These are the main classes of inhibitors but within these classes of inhibitors there are even more; such as the nucleoside reverse transcriptase and non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors which fit under the ‘Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors’ subheading.  These inhibitor drugs help to maintain a high level CD4 count in the white blood cells and in affect help to fight the HIV virus by repairing and restoring the immunity system.                                                                                                                                                      
The body naturally produces antibodies which ‘attack’ HIV antigens and is the instinctive way that the body can fight the HIV virus.  Yeast products contain a product that interfere with the body’s natural ability to fight of infections and diseases so consuming large quantities of alcohol, bread and other yeast products can restrict the bodies’ natural ability to produce antibodies to fight the HIV virus and keep a maintained immune system.

 The actions people take when HIV positive can have significant impacts on a person life and welfare.   Keeping the CD4 count up and the HIV viral load down (amount of HIV within the body) is critical along with taking medications properly and as necessary. People on treatments have similar life expectancy as to those who are HIV negative, but have to careful not to spread the virus to others through the exchange of body fluids.  Lifestyles can be interrupted and interfered with as you are living with HIV and there is stigma in the community for HIV positive people.  Some of this stigma includes some people that are HIV positive not being permitted to work in some industries such as the army or air force.  This has many socio-cultural impacts and can decrease the areas that HIV positive people can work in due to stereotypes around possible health hazards.  Being HIV can have numerous social, physical and emotional problems associated with it and many HIV people can have low self-esteems and depression.  But being open and discussing HIV and educating it can help people and as a community people can feel valued and respected for the person they are.  Just because someone is HIV positive does not change the person that they are therefore degradation of any form is unnecessary as it is discrimination!

      The interaction between the Human Immunodeficiency Virus and humans impacts on lifestyles that people live.  The retrovirus, if discussed and educated to people, could improve our knowledge and understanding of how the pathogen works.  The HIV virus uses 6 main processes to reproduce it including reverse transcription; there are several inhibitor drugs available that can interfere with the HIV copying process.  HIV attacks the human immunity system and progressively destroys the bodies’ ability to fight infections and diseases which can lead to aids and consequent in death.


Bibliography:







*The above websites have further information and support about the HIV virus.
 For assistance within New Zealand visit http://www.nzaf.org.nz/